Brooklyn Prison Supervisors Charged With Sexually Assaulting Inmates

As prison officials and reformers have stepped up efforts to reduce rape behind bars, they have looked to the supervisors who keep watch over prisoners — and prison guards — to help curb the scourge of sexual abuse.

On Thursday, federal prosecutors charged two of those supervisors, lieutenants at a federal jail in Brooklyn, and another guard with sexually abusing female inmates.

The prison where the three worked, the Metropolitan Detention Center, has long been regarded as a troubled institution in the federal Bureau of Prisons. Last year, a federal judge expressed reluctance about sending women there because the stories she had heard about the living conditions there made it sound like it was in “some third-world country.”

In the case announced on Thursday, prosecutors say one lieutenant repeatedly raped an inmate shortly before she was scheduled to be turned over to immigration authorities and deported. Another lieutenant is accused of repeatedly sexually abusing inmates assigned to clean his office, or the hallway nearby. A third man, a rank-and-file corrections officer, who was also charged on Thursday, is accused of receiving oral sex from three inmates.

In all, court filings by prosecutors mention nine victims, all female inmates. In one case, prosecutors wrote, “the defendant warned Jane Doe not to tell anyone what had happened, telling her that she could receive additional time in prison if anyone found out.”

In court filings, prosecutors noted that the two lieutenants, Carlos Richard Martinez and Eugenio Perez, were responsible for educating their subordinates about their duties under the Prison Rape Elimination Act, a 2003 law. Prosecutors said that one of the lieutenants made light of the law, known as P.R.E.A., in a posting on Facebook.

“Notwithstanding these responsibilities,” prosecutors wrote, Lieutenant Martinez posted a photograph of two men, most likely prison officials, “hugging each other at a bar with the caption ‘It’s only P.R.E.A. when you don’t like it.’”

Bringing criminal sex crime charges against corrections officers is rare and difficult. Inmates, fearful of retaliation, often wait weeks, months or longer to make an allegation, if they do so at all. When an inmate delays reporting, physical evidence has often disappeared, making the allegation a matter of the inmate’s word against the guard’s.

For example, inmates at New York City’s Rikers Island jail complex made 131 allegations of sexual abuse against staff members in 2015, the last year for which data are available. Only one allegation was substantiated.

This month, New York City agreed to pay $1.2 million to settle a lawsuit brought by two female inmates who accused a guard at Rikers Island of repeatedly sexually abusing them. That guard was never criminally charged and remains employed by the city Correction Department.

In the past 15 years, there have been a few cases alleging sexual misconduct among staff at the Metropolitan Detention Center. The most prominent case involved a female correctional officer who was impregnated by Ronell Wilson, who received the first federal death sentence in New York City in more than a half-century for murdering two undercover police officers.

The Metropolitan Detention Center holds some 1,800 federal inmates, many of whom are awaiting trial. Only about 3 percent of the inmates are women.

Earlier this year, there were 58 women at the jail, according to prison officials. But in 2015 and 2016, there were twice or nearly three times that number. The women were held in two dormitory-style rooms with little access to fresh air, outdoor recreation or work opportunities. An article in The New York Times earlier this year examined the troubling treatment of three inmates who were pregnant while incarcerated.

F.B.I. agents and investigators with the Justice Department’s Office of the Inspector General have been investigating sexual assault allegations by staff at the Metropolitan Detention Center for nearly a year.

“By using their authority and power to prey upon and abuse female inmates in their care, these defendants violated their oaths of public service as well as numerous criminal laws,” the acting United States attorney in Brooklyn, Bridget M. Rohde, said in a statement.

The three defendants were arraigned Thursday in Federal District Court in Brooklyn and entered not guilty pleas through their lawyers. Lieutenant Martinez was held without bail and a bail hearing was pending for Lieutenant Perez. The other guard was also held without bail.

Prosecutors have accused Lieutenant Martinez, who served in the Marines, of “using physical force and fear to repeatedly rape” a female prisoner between December 2015 and April 2016, according to court papers. Prosecutors suggested that Lieutenant Martinez, 47, may have selected his victim in part because she was a foreign national who would be deported at the conclusion of her sentence, just five months after the sexual abuse began. “The defendant chose as his victim a sentenced prisoner who spoke minimal English, who he knew had virtually no visitors, and would be sent to I.C.E. custody following her release from B.O.P. custody,” prosecutors wrote.

In court on Thursday, the prosecutor, Nadia Shihata, said that Lieutenant Martinez’s criminal behavior was not confined to the Metropolitan Detention Center. In April 2016, she recounted a “road rage incident,” in which, she said, Lieutenant Martinez had gotten out of his vehicle on Franklin D. Roosevelt Drive and punched a female driver twice before fleeing. Lieutenant Martinez was ultimately convicted of a minor violation, disorderly conduct, for that episode, according to prosecutors.

As deputy marshals led Lieutenant Martinez from the courtroom after he was ordered held without bail, he could be seen blowing a kiss to family members and silently mouthing a reassuring message.

https://www.nytimes.com

The Hottest Body Part? For a Sapiosexual, It’s the Brain

In a society obsessed with physical appearance,sexual attraction for some people is based on intellect, and not necessarily on looks.
Aboubacar Okeke-Diagne finds internet pornography a little disappointing. The problem is the dialogue: “It seems like a lot of pointless small talk.”

Mr. Okeke-Diagne, 23, who lives in Brooklyn, identifies as sapiosexual. Though definitions vary, the term generally describes people for whom sexual attraction is based on intellect, and not necessarily on looks.

For Mr. Okeke-Diagne, being sapiosexual means intellectual conversation is a key part of dating and sex. While some couples might exchange racy photos or texts, he once sent a woman he was seeing a multipage erotic story he had written that included references to the Julian calendar, the decimal system and global climate change. Writing the story was such a turn-on for him that he tried to find similar erotica online — with little success.

In a society where physical beauty often equates to sex appeal, the idea of sapiosexuality has been quietly gaining traction in recent years. In 2014, “sapiosexual” became one of an expanded list of sexual orientations and identities daters could choose on OkCupid, the online dating app. In March, the CineKink NYC film festival featured “Sapiosexual,” a short film about a young woman named Cass whose attraction to her date increases as he discusses the work of E.M. Forster. As she puts it, “Most people get turned on by rock-hard abs, toned muscles or perfect cheekbones. Not me.”
With increased visibility has come a backlash: Some say declaring a sexual preference based on intelligence is pretentious, elitist or insulting to people with disabilities.

For Jacqueline Cohen, though, the term describes how she has felt since she was a teenager. “I’ve always known that the one thing that gets me very excited and aroused is the intelligence, and sometimes even the mystery around someone’s intelligence,” she said.

That’s what drew Ms. Cohen, who is 52 and lives on the Upper West Side, to her first husband, a magician. “There’s a brilliance that comes with magic and card manipulation,” she said.

On their first date, he levitated for her. But she was most fascinated with tricks that involved mentalism — subtly planting a number or an image in her mind so that he could guess which card she would pick later on (and sometimes hiding it somewhere unexpected, like the refrigerator).

“I called it his magic foreplay,” she said.

She has had relationships she describes as purely sapiosexual, in which there was no sex, just intense conversation. One man was nowhere near her physical type, but the first time they met, he began reciting poetry by Rainer Maria Rilke. “I was so amazed at how fluid the whole conversation was,” she said. “I could feel something happening inside me.”

The next time they saw each other, he took her to an art exhibit and gave her all of Rilke’s books. Since then, Rilke has been one of her favorite poets. In such relationships, she said, “I access my wisdom and love and ability to analyze in this incredible way, and they do, too.”

Darren Stalder, an engineer in Seattle, appears to have coined the term “sapiosexual” in 1998 to describe his own sexuality. “I don’t care too much about the plumbing,” he wrote in a post on the social network LiveJournal in 2002. “I want an incisive, inquisitive, insightful, irreverent mind. I want someone for whom philosophical discussion is foreplay.”

Sapio, in Latin, means “I discern” or “understand.”

The term started to get more attention in the early 2010s. OkCupid included it among sexual orientation choices in part because “we know our audience swings toward the intellectual side,” said Nick Saretzky, the company’s director of product.

Today about 0.5 percent of OkCupid users identify as sapiosexual. Women are more likely to choose the label than men, and it is most common among users between the ages of 31 and 40. Users who are sapiosexual are more likely than average to say religion is not important to them, and to identify as liberal.

Of course, many people seek an intellectual connection with their partners. But people who identify as sapiosexual often say intellect is the first or most important factor that draws them to another person, according to Debby Herbenick, a sexual health educator and professor of applied health science at the Indiana University School of Public Health.

Scientists consider sapiosexuality less a sexual orientation than an identity, Professor Herbenick said. People who identify as sapiosexual may also identify as gay, straight, bisexual, asexual or something else.

Some people find the term offensive. “‘Sapiosexual’ seems to circulate primarily as a layer of pretension on top of a more traditional sexual identity,” Samantha Allen wrote at The Daily Beast in 2015. She also noted that criticisms of the term are common on Tumblr, which is known for in-depth discussions of sexuality. Users of the site have argued that the term promotes a single, fixed idea of intelligence, and that it encourages discrimination against people who have intellectual disabilities or autism spectrum disorders or who can’t afford higher education.

The backlash is confusing for Mr. Stalder, 50, who is married and polyamorous. “I’m not making any value judgments about people,” he said.

 

https://www.nytimes.com/

Nearly Half of Teens Have Had Sex by Age 19, Survey Finds

More than 42 percent of never-married adolescents ages 15 to 19 say they have had sex at least once.

Researchers from the National Center for Health Statistics report that from 2011 to 2015, 42.4 percent of never-married girls (four million) and 44.2 percent of never-married boys (4.4 million) had had sexual intercourse.

Among the majority who had not had sex, the reasons varied. More than 35 percent of girls and almost 28 percent of boys said that it was against their religion or moral code.

A fifth of both boys and girls cited fear of pregnancy as the reason for abstaining. Almost 23 percent said they had not yet found the right person.

Researchers gathered the data from September 2011 to September 2015 in interviews with 20,621 men and women, including 4,134 teenagers. The sample is nationally representative.According to the lead author, Joyce C. Abma, a demographer with the agency, sexual activity among teenagers declined sharply in the 1990s, leveling off in 2002.

Teenage pregnancy rates have also been declining, but the birthrate from 2011 to 2015 — 34 per 1,000 girls ages 15 to 19 — is much higher than the rate in, for example, Canada (13 per 1,000), France (seven) or Germany (five).

There were considerable variations by race and ethnicity among boys. From 2011 to 2015, 42.8 percent of white boys, 45.7 percent of Hispanics and 58.6 percent of African-Americans had had sex at least once. The differences among girls by race and ethnicity were insignificant.

Sexual experience varied with living conditions. A significantly lower percentage of boys and girls who lived with both parents when they were 14 had had sex. Boys, but not girls, were more likely to be sexually active if their mothers had not graduated from high school.

Most teenagers had their first sexual experience with someone with whom they were “going steady,” but 13 percent of girls and 27.3 percent of boys first slept with someone with whom they were “just friends.”

Condoms were by far the most common form of birth control — 97 percent of teenagers reported using them. The second choice was withdrawal or the pill, with a little more than half reporting they used those methods.

About 17 percent used Depo-Provera, the injectable contraceptive, and much smaller percentages used a patch, an intrauterine device or an implant.

“The increase in contraceptive use has continued,” Dr. Abma said. “This is at least partly due to the wider variety of methods available. But given the large percent that still use methods such as the condom and withdrawal, which have higher failure rates, there’s lot of improvement left to go.”

https://www.nytimes.com/

Angela Merkel Eases Resistance to Same-Sex Marriage in Germany

 

BERLIN — The emotional issue of same-sex marriage moved swiftly to the center of Germany’s national election campaign on Tuesday after Chancellor Angela Merkel softened her resistance, saying for the first time that she would allow members of her party to vote as they saw fit on the issue.

Ms. Merkel’s statement came after decisions by her current coalition partners, the Social Democrats — along with two other parties that may be part of her government after elections in September — made their support contingent on backing for same-sex marriage.

The chancellor’s conservative Christian Democratic Union and its Bavarian sister party, the Christian Social Union, which is strongly Roman Catholic, have favored a “family values” approach, but opinion polls increasingly suggest that a clear majority of German voters of all ages are in favor of same-sex marriage.

The chancellor continues to face resistance from her conservative camp — her party’s chief whip in Parliament, Michael Grosse-Brömer, said on Tuesday, “There is no need for an overly hasty decision.”

Angela Merkel’s Party Wins Unexpectedly in German State Elections MAY 7, 2017
Ms. Merkel’s challenger from the Social Democrats, Martin Schulz, demanded that the chancellor allow a parliamentary vote, and that is likely to come this week; if it does, the measure is almost certain to pass.

Ms. Merkel is known as a tactical politician who is not averse to shifting her party’s stance on important issues if she thinks it will gain her votes, and she appeared to be bowing to political pressure in allowing lawmakers to cast their ballot as a “vote of conscience.”

Ms. Merkel’s comments came on Monday during a relaxed interview with journalists from Brigitte, one of Germany’s best-selling glossy magazines for women, when she was asked by an audience member about the growing demands to recognize same-sex marriage.

The chancellor prevaricated, reciting the familiar factors, including Christian belief, that influenced people’s positions on the issue, and she lamented the over-politicization of the debate.

But, she added, “I would like to lead the discussion more into a situation where it is a question of conscience rather than something I push through with a majority vote.”

Support for same-sex marriage in Germany is widespread. In a YouGov poll conducted in May, 66 percent of 1,099 respondents favored permitting same-sex marriage, and a narrower majority, 57 percent, favored allowing adoption by gay couples.

Germany recognized civil unions for gay and lesbian couples in 2001. Over the years, and via several court decisions, those couples have won a series of court rulings, including the ability to inherit goods and property. But they have not, so far, won the right to adopt.
Peter Ramsauer, a former cabinet minister and a legislator for the Christian Social Union in Bavaria, rejected outright the need for a vote.

“Germany has more paramount issues to address,” Mr. Ramsauer said, warning his Christian Democratic Union partners to “be careful not to destroy the last conservative values.”

But Stefan Kaufmann, an openly gay legislator for the Christian Democrats, said that he hoped Parliament would vote on the issue this week. “This is a sign that my party is changing,” Mr. Kaufmann said, estimating that about 40 percent of his Christian Democratic colleagues favored allowing same-sex marriage.

Ms. Merkel, when asked Monday evening about gay adoption, cited what she said was a recent meeting with a lesbian who invited the chancellor to visit her and her partner’s home in Ms. Merkel’s parliamentary constituency in northern Germany, where the couple has raised at least eight foster children.

The chancellor said she had not had time to take up the invitation, but she used it as a way to illustrate that it may often be better for children to live permanently with a loving couple no matter what their sex, rather than moving from home to home in foster care.

The Federal Anti-Discrimination Agency of Germany backed Ms. Merkel’s change in approach. “This is not a controversial issue,” Christine Lüders, the director of the agency, said. “I think this position was long overdue, and gays and lesbians should not have to wait for several months until after the election. The vote for marriage equality can be held this week.”

Axel Hochrein, a board member of the Lesbian and Gay Federation in Germany, attributed Ms. Merkel’s shift to the pressure from other established parties.

“This shows that the political and social pressure on the government had become so big that she had to react,” Mr. Hochrein said. “With three possible coalition partners now declaring that the opening of marriage must be in the coalition contract, perhaps she wants to solve the problem before it appears after the election.”

Volker Beck, a well-known campaigner for gay rights and a Green Party lawmaker in Parliament, argued that Ms. Merkel had been compelled to shift after the Greens, the Social Democrats and the Liberal Democrats all said there could be no coalition without gay marriage.

“This means she has nothing to win on the issue,” Mr. Beck said. “Before getting trapped in this ‘lose lose’ situation, she has decided to step aside and say ‘O.K., let’s just decide in Parliament on the question of conscience, everyone is free to vote.’”

 

https://www.nytimes.com

Erotic massage Bucharest – top salons in town

In Bucharest erotic massage services are very popular. Many people apply for this type of services to solve the lack of tenderness and eroticism.

We recommend : salon masaj erotic bucuresti, salon masaj erotic bucuresti, salon masaj erotic bucuresti, salon masaj erotic bucuresti

Usually people have a wrong impression, thinking that this service involves sexual contact, but in reality both the masseuse and the client are prohibited from offering, receiving and demand comprehensive sexual services. Before embarking on this kind of services you should know that you will not get sex but you get privacy, relaxation, erotic massage and completions techniques that do not include sex.

We recommend : erotic massage parlors bucharest, erotic massage parlors bucharest, erotic massage parlors bucharest, erotic massage parlors bucharest

When you arrive at a massage parlor you will be greeted by beautiful masseuses dressed in sexy gowns, dresses, lingerie or swimwear.

You have to choose the masseuse that you most like by attitude, physics, smile, each one of you according to personal criteria. Then, once chosen the masseuse you should decide on the type of massage you want.

You can choose between Swedish massage, Thai massage, relaxation massage, sports massage, hot stone massage, massage in whirlpool, four hands massage, couples massage, swing, erotic massage or lingam massage. Besides all this, according to your fantasies and available masseuses, they can meet up your fantasies of domination verbal or physical and other fetish. After choosing the desired masseuse in the room she will give up her clothes and she will remain nude, all nude she will execute all types of massage above mentioned. If you do not want nudity please specify this.

Erotic massage and lingam massage are types of massage made by a masseuse with her whole body. The breasts, bottom, thighs, legs, hands, with feet flat on the customer’s genital area.

On the site you can see the ladies available every time with a photo gallery with real pictures, a few words of description, age, experience, services and massage techniques performed by each one. All you have to do is choose the desired combination.

Our massage salons provides professional, high quality services since 2000. Among our clients there are politicians, businessmen, tourists and local people with above average incomes, all of whom agree that we are a five-star brand.

All masseuses are qualified for therapeutic and relaxation massages, are lawfully employed and own medical tests to date. Besides legality and safety we have made sure that each of the 30 girls to be beautiful but in a different way so that each of the clients retrieve ideal masseuse.

The lounges are decorated in oriental style, each room represents a a different area, each one is handmade by an interior designer. The colors, the music, the details,the materials are carefully chosen to create a state of relaxation. Everything is sanitized after each client so that you can relax without a care. Each parlor of the three that we have is centrally located in Bucharest, in elegant villas with own parking, air conditioning and approvals from state institutions.

If you want to benefit from relaxing or erotic massage in the comfort of your home or in your hotel room, you can choose desired masseuse from the gallery, make an appointment and the chosen masseuse will reach you within 30 minutes or at the appointed time . When it has reached the masseuse will have a badge and the invoice and of course the goods needed for massage. All you have to do, if you want, is to open a champagne bottle, choose some beautiful music and take a shower. Showering you can also do when the girls is arrived, together with it.

If you have not experienced before an erotic massage or a relaxing massage performed by a beautiful nude masseuse, if you want to see another joy of life we recommend you to visit our salons and to schedule a meeting.

Will be more than massage. It will be a unique experience, an adventure!

Crazy Facts About Sex

Sex is really more than just an act, rather; it is an art of consensual expression of human special feelings. This feeling lies in a place where no eyes can reach. Some engage in it for the true reasons why it was made, while some abuse it and some use it just to satisfy their selfish and temporary carnal gratification. We all cannot do without it, but not everyone knows what it really symbolizes and represent. When you understand it then it comes to you as a normal requirement of life, with no fuss or problems attached to it.

1- Know that sex is mostly over rated and exaggerated. You won’t know that until you have your first encounter, after which you begin to ask yourself some questions. It is the most overrated part of human life. Believe me.

2- First encounter sucks most times. It could be so bad that it leaves some unending bitter after taste, which could affect subsequent ones. It is near to impossible to have or experience a smooth and perfect first time.

3- Having multiple sex partners kills the fun and value of it. You no longer regard the act as sacred, rather you just see it like a drug that you just need at a point to get you high and fly. The more persons you have sex with, the more confused and unfulfilled you become. Many partners may seem adventurous at first but believe me, it gradually boomerangs and turns against you, because your appetite just grows out of control and you become insatiable sexually. You now engage in it like an animal.

4- Sex is highly complicated and controversial if not understood and administered properly. Most people are so uncomfortable around it, some frown at it, while some still see it as a big mystery. It is culture, religion, race, sex and society sensitive, that is where its complications arise from. This sensitivity sometimes or most times build a myth around it.

5- Sex is never the best way to express love and affection. It is really not a true reflection of how a man especially loves a woman. Love and sex are not as related as we think or make it to appear. Love is a feeling from the extra ordinary while sex is most times just a feeling that is highly superficial and carnal. It satisfies majorly the flesh and not the soul.

6- It is not a good way to find favour, affection, attention, respect, love and help. It should never be offered wrongly or with ulterior motives. So it doesn’t turn back to haunt the living day light out of you.

7- A good and purposeful sex is very therapeutic. It helps boost confidence with men especially and good for the heart and in the production of a certain happy hormones. Engage in it looking beyond self-gratification and you will be glad you did.

8- Sex and emotions goes hand in hand with the female folks. Once the emotions or feelings are not moved, the sex might be the most disastrous and frustrating experience ever for both parties. It hates distractions.

9- Most times sex thrives and grows on the wings of spontaneity; it doesn’t like too much planning, arranging or sketching. It likes to come out naturally and powerfully, without been induced.

10- Sex comes with responsibilities and requirement. It is not just done and dusted like it never happened. Every act of copulation has something involved, a lesson to teach and a message to pass. There is no casual sex; every sex is highly sophisticated and premeditated. One day the fruit of the careless seeds you sowed will bear fruits, either good or bad, time will tell.

11- Sex and stress are foes; they don’t and cannot walk together. Once stress is around sex wears a frown. A stress free mind is a needed ingredient in cooking up a fantastic pot of sex.

12- Sex in the early hours of the morning is a beautiful ritual that cannot be ignored. The gods of carnality comes down at that time. It really has its own peak period, know that.

13- It (sex) responds to smell, pictures, images, words, ideas, suggestions, leads, signs, body language, silence, a secured place and imagination. Take full advantage of all these tools, if you know the rules.

14- Sex finds total expression when confidence, creativity and patience are involved. Know that you are not only out to enjoy yourself, but also out to fulfil and make the next person happy.

15- Let the spark never die, if not, the sex becomes painful, boring and meaningless. It just becomes a ritual that must be done regardless of how both of you feel. That is just close to torture.

 

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/expert/Ola_Femi/391608

 

Sex As a Vital Dimension of a High Quality Lifestyle

Introduction

Of course it is well understood that swimming, biking, running, weight training and other forms of strenuous exertions facilitate and enhance sexual pleasures. This is as self-evident as the method discovered for crossing vast interstellar distances in a mere nothingth of a second, that is, via the “Infinite Improbability Drive,” described by Douglas Adams in “The Ultimate Hitchhiker’s Guide.” (See Chapter 10, page 60 in the 1986 Portland House edition of this classic work.) No need to go into details save to note that the revelation was based on “the principle of generating small amounts of ‘finite’ improbability by simply hooking the logic circuits of a Bambleweeny 57 Sub-Meson Brain to an atomic vector plotter suspended in a strong Browian motion producer.”

We (Dr. Grant Donovan and I – see note, below) believe our discovery linking positive sexuality and REAL wellness for consenting adults not under the influence of mind-altering drugs or suffering from religion-induced guilt who have a well-developed sense of humor and can appreciate the ludicrous) is at least as self-evident as the discovery of the infinite improbability drive.

There is ample research support for our contention that sex and humor are integral parts of everyday life and important for overall health and happiness. Among the scholarly works that explore these links is “Sex and Humor: Selections from The Kinsey Institute” (edited by Catherine Johnson, et.al., Indiana University Press, 2002). Yet, sex by itself, without any health-related justifications or elaborately controlled, romantic love and church sanctioned preparations, can be quite delightful without any harm being done. Naturally, sex works best when undertaken in socially approved ways, but that is not so easy to manage in most societies. The ultimate obstacles to sex that contributes to joy and delight are religious toxins, dogmas and mores that promote ignorance and fear. The expressed preference of the Catholic Church and many other religions is that no sex is good sex, except for purposes of procreation, and even then it’s best if the male and female to not enjoy it too much. Chastity, like faith, is a terrible idea but in the realm of theologies, both are put forward as virtues. We side with Aldous Huxley, who considered chastity “the most unnatural of the sexual perversions.”

A Short Case for Sex as a Good Thing in Boundless Ways

Sex is fun and totally exuberance-enhancing. Most secularists who study human sexual activity believe copious exertions of this kind, particularly with a loving partner, foster physical and mental health benefits. (This is true for sex with others who might just be friendly, not quite loving.) A key variable affecting the quality of life enhancing aspects of sexuality is that relationships beyond the loving partner ideal are usually more complicated due to prevailing norms of a constrictive nature and are thus accompanied with risks and unintended consequences.

Sex and intimacy boost self-esteem and happiness. Happiness, as Ingersoll noted in “Improved Man”, “is the only good, and everything that adds to the happiness of sentient beings is good and to do the things, and no other, that add to the happiness of man is to practice the highest possible religion.”

Sex also boosts your immune system. Studies suggest college students who have sex one or more times per week have higher levels of the immunoglobulin A (IgA) antibody than their less successful peers. Surely one need not be enrolled in college to enjoy this immune system boost through sexual activity.

Abstinence Education Should Be Illegal

Surely that phrase is an oxymoron, for what “abstinence education” really stands for is “keep kids ignorant about human sexuality.” While sex is complicated enough in its own right, religious dogmas have always suppressed the dissemination of knowledge about it and thereby created all manner of dysfunctions.

Here are a few basics every young person should learn as thoroughly as anything else taught in the primary grades. Such knowledge would enable children to better care for their bodies, make more responsible choices and develop more confidence and self-respect.

  • Sexual and reproductive anatomy.
  • Gender identity and orientation (e.g., heterosexual, bisexual or homosexual).
  • Ways in which morals, family, friends, religion, age, life goals and other factors shape our sexual selves.
  • The nature and significance of intimacy, touch, love, compassion, etc.
  • Of course, this just skims the surface. It’s mind-boggling to think of how little knowledge about sexuality (none in the case of religious schools other than the message “don’t even think about it”) has been incorporated into the educational system for children over the centuries. How did we ever survive?

Let’s do more to ensure that own children receive sound information informed by science, not superstition and ignorance, with a focus on such fundamentals as the following:

  • Human reproduction.
  • The biology of the fertility cycle.
  • Birth control methods.
  • Helpful facts, such as this one-85% of women who have vaginal sex sans birth control will become pregnant within a year.
  • How to use and where to obtain birth control supplies.
  • How to communicate assertively with a partner about protection.

Adults should know a lot more about the subject, for example:

  • That sex enhances libido in women by increasing vaginal lubrication while improving blood flow and building elasticity;
  • That sex improves bladder control in women by building stronger pelvic muscles;
  • That mechanical devices exist that can increase sexual arousal, particularly in women, chief among them being a Mercedes-Benz 380SL convertible (thanks P.J. O’Rourke);
  • That sex lowers blood pressure by burning calories, far more, for example, than watching TV.
  • That sex reduces pain by releasing endorphins (the effects are a bit like morphine) during orgasm;
  • That sex improves sleep via the release of prolactin, a relaxation hormone; and
  • That sex contributes to feel-good sensations, thanks to the release of oxytocin, the hormone that also reduces anxiety and depression.

REAL Wellness and Sex – The Connections

REAL wellness is not focused on living longer, becoming more beautiful or more virtuous, though don’t be surprised if these and other fringe benefits come to pass when you’re in the throes of such a lifestyle. REAL wellness is not tied to vanities popular in the culture. However, if these pleasantries come to pass, well, don’t hold that against REAL wellness. It is, after all, an exuberance-rich way of living.

There is a reason for mentioning this.

A recent study at the Royal Edinburgh Hospital in Scotland hinted at a link between sexuality and youthful appearances. An odd pairing, but being the exuberance-focused social scientist I imagine myself to be, I grabbed a magnifying glass and peered into this research with a jaundiced but hopeful eye.

It seems a randomized sample of judges were gathered and empaneled to observe randomly picked subjects through one-way mirrors. The assignment? Guess their ages. The judges had no information on the subjects seen through one-way mirrors. However, the age guesses produced fascinated the good scientists at Royal Hospital. It seems that subjects who enjoyed sex on average four times per week, with a steady partner, were perceived to be seven to 12 years younger than their actual age. Quelle horror! What could this mean?

The study authors concluded that regular sex promotes the release of testosterone and estrogen, which in turn promote soft skin and shiny hair which, at least in this case, made the study subjects pretty inept at guessing ages. These people have no future at carnivals guessing how old marks are, or probably how much they weigh, either.

Could this result really mean something related to the benefits of sex, if looking younger is indeed a benefit? Think of the implications. If I’m having sex four times a week with a steady partner and I’m 50 years old but look somewhere between 38 and 43, could I appear between 26 and 36 years of age if I have sex with two steady partners eight times per week? If so, how can I persuade my wife to support this approach, in the interest of science, of course, for regaining a bit of my youthful countenance?

Well, regardless, let’s remember that REAL wellness is not about preventing or disguising aging-it’s about joy, exuberance and the bountiful pleasures of well-being.

Whether sex makes you look younger or not, know that other things being the same (which they never are), it’s a good thing, in the right hands, yours or someone else’s. Physical orgasms are only the most obvious expression of exuberance at the apex of human experience; these pleasures and all others must not be taken lightly or neglected.
+++++

Note: The essay is based on a chapter in Don’s forthcoming book, co-authored with Dr. Grant Donovan of Australia, entitled Wellness Orgasms: The Fun Way to Live Well and Die Healthy.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/expert/Donald_Ardell/893159

 

Sex Life Advice: Sex Isn’t A Reward, Nor a Punishment

A colleague on LinkedIn asked a provocative question: Should a spouse use sex as a reward or punishment? Of course, the short answer is no. But the topic got therapists, including me, chatting it up about how people use their sexual relationship to manipulate their partner.

When someone is stingy with sex and only has sex when their partner has done something they want them to do, that’s using sex as a punishment and reward. They may think to themselves, “You rat. I’m not having sex with you because you annoy me.” Possibly, they aren’t even aware of their thought. They just know that they don’t feel like having sex. They may find excuses or ways to avoid an encounter. This is what’s I call “withholding sex.”

Usually the person withholding sex doesn’t say out loud, “Hey, you fixed the drain today after I bugged you for the last three weeks, so I’m going to have sex with you,” or, “You gave in and we got the sofa in a color I wanted instead of that horrid tan, here’s a blow job.”

Doling out sex like M&Ms to a child who is learning to tie their shoe doesn’t make for a very loving way to approach sex. Sure, there’s such as a thing as celebrating with sex. Got a raise? Let’s have sex! Christening a new mattress? Let’s have sex! Whoo hoo!

But manipulating a partner with sex? A no.

What I have learned is sometimes the person who withholds sex feels powerless in other areas of the relationship. They may have poor communication skills, holding in negative feelings like anger or sadness. Sex is a powerful way to control someone’s behavior. And it works-until one’s partner gets aggravated or catches on to the game.

Here’s a bit of sexual relationship advice: To be loving, intimate, enjoyable, sex needs to be given freely. Sex needs to be shared. Sex is like a Hershey bar, to be broken in half and enjoyed equally. Honesty and assertiveness are all that’s required to make it so.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/expert/Dr._Stephanie_Buehler/147408

 

6 Tricks for Having the Hottest Sex Ever

What is explosive sex and what makes it so hot? Is it the sex positions? Is it talking dirty to your man in bed? Or could it be the way you move your body during sex? Whatever it is one thing is clear, to make sex hot and sensual you have to use some tricks here and there.

Sex tricks not only make sex exciting, but also increase intimacy as well. Before we take a look at the six tricks, for having the hottest sex ever it’s important to mention that for great sex to happen, you must unravel your man’s desires and cravings. You must be in a position to discern what he likes and what he doesn’t like.

The other point worth noting is that you have to put yourself in the perfect mood for sex both mentally and physically. Unless you set your mind to think about sex, there is no way you are going to experience all the enjoyment that comes with sex.

Sex is more satisfying when done with the right partner. If you are going to enjoy sex; you must connect with your partner sexually, unless you’re looking for a one-night stand of course. To help you spice up your sex life here are six tricks for having the hottest sex ever:

Have sex somewhere unexpected… Who said that you can only have sex in the bedroom, on the bed? As a matter of fact, hot sex rarely happens in bed if you ask me. Having sex in unlikely places will fit right in to any guy’s fantasy. Increase the thrill by having sex when he least expects it. Have sex in the bathroom when you’re out at a friend’s party. When you’re about to head home after a night out, have sex in the back seat of the car.

Tickle his frenulum and perineum… Did you think that men don’t have G-spots? Think again! That ridge of the membrane where the shaft meets the head that you have been ignoring could be the secret to setting the stage for awesome sexual pleasure. What about the perineum? I am talking about the patch of skin between his anus and the testicles. Press that zone gently with your fingers and don’t be surprised if he groans your name in pleasure.

Pay attention to his testicles… Yes, the testicles might be overly sensitive, but if you want to double his pleasure you’d better start sucking them during sex. When was the last time you sucked or squeezed his balls gently? You don’t even remember, do you? Well, in case you didn’t know his testicles play a major part when it comes to achieving orgasm.

Talk dirty… Being naughty when making love is very sexy and men love it. Let your guy know that you’re feeling good. You don’t have to sound like a porn star to talk dirty to your man. Just say what you’re comfortable with because perfecting dirty talk doesn’t happen overnight. It takes some time to get really good at it.

The hummer… Ever heard about the hummer? This is without a doubt a very hot trick when you’re giving him a blowjob. Instead of just sucking his penis, hum and moan while he is still in your mouth. This produces tingling vibrations that will definitely blow his mind. The vibrations will also give him an arousing massage. Now that’s what I call intimacy at its best.

Spin and swirl… Again, this brings us back to blowjobs because men really love them. The spin and swirl trick brings him an incredibly pleasurable experience and this is a trick worth the extra effort. Spin your tongue along the shaft of his penis in an upward motion. Do this for five minutes and watch how he responds in pleasure!

These hot tricks will make sure that you have a sex experience to remember. Learn how to use dirty dialogue on your man.Having the hottest sex ever can begin during the day by sending him some naughty texts! Knowing how to talk dirty to your man with words should begin with dirty texts throughout the day… Preparing him for what’s to come!

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/expert/Connie_Lewis/123382

 

Hot Passionate Sex Tips to Reignite His Desire

When you don’t look for new ways to make sex exciting, it slowly becomes more of routine and loses the passion and excitement. You need to try as much as you can to have hot passionate sex with your partner if you’re serious about sprucing up your sex life.

When you look for unique ways to heighten intimacy in your relationship you can be sure that it’s not hard to turn around your man’s dwindling desire for sex. Men think about sex more often, thus increasing his libido is all about becoming “his woman”.

Start with engaging activities that will make him attracted to you sexually. Here are some incredible hot passionate sex tips to reignite his desire:

Change the ambiance in the bedroom… Sex happens in the bedroom most of the time. It is the right place to start when you’re trying to make your man want to have sex with you more often. Ask yourself, how often do you change the sheets? What about the colors in the bedroom? Could they do with some changes?

In a nutshell transform the bedroom into a perfect place for sex; create the right atmosphere. Use some colored light bulbs or have scented candles to replace the bulbs. The idea of spreading some scented rose petal on the floor would also be great. Have some soft music playing in the background. Now that’s the perfect stage for a love scene. Don’t you agree?

Change your dress code in the bedroom… You got in your comfort zone after being with your man for a while, right? You jump in bed with a t-shirt and a pair of oversize shorts and hope that your man will be enthusiastic about having sex with you. Well this is perhaps the biggest mistake you ever did in your sex life.

There’s more to hot passionate sex than just spreading your legs wide open. Your man wants to watch. Dress in sexy lingerie and give him a show. Sexy lingerie that hides part of your skin will effectively trigger his imagination and make him want to have sex with you more often. If you’re uneasy with sexy lingerie a sexy nightdress that exposes your thighs would be enough to drive him crazy.

Try something new… The reason that your man’s desire towards you is in a downward spiral is because you engage in the same routine day in day out. This makes sex more predictable therefore the loss in interest. Never get tired of introducing something new in the bedroom.

Introduce never tried before sex games as well as new sex positions and techniques. Engage in foreplay too. If you want to have hot passionate sex, then you have to stop being overly predictable. Create some form of mystery and you will have your man coming back for more every night.

Take a shower together… Sex doesn’t have to be initiated in the bedroom all the time. Jump into the shower with your man and have a hot steamy bath together. Be sure to use scented soaps to set the right mood for sex later. Don’t forget that some foreplay in the bath tub will come in handy.

Kiss and give him a sensual massage while you’re at it. By the time you leave the bath tub you will have set the mood for hot passionate sex.

Give him more oral sex… You could be giving him a blowjob. But how often do you do it? Have you gone out of your way to improve your sexual skills? Men love oral sex and when you look at it more critically it takes some form of trust and comfort to allow someone to give them a blowjob.

Do it more passionately to turn him on. As a matter of fact make it part and parcel of your sex life. Do you know what turning on a man means to you? It means that your man will work hard to please you in bed as well and that translates to more satisfaction on your part.

It takes two to tango. Learn to please your man in bed… Here’s 10 tips [http://howtopleaseamaninbed.com/] to get you started. Hot passionate sex involves sexy dirty talk as well, so use some of it once in a while. Check out these Dirty Talking Lines I use on my guy. You can text him some of these lines during the day to really heat things up!

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/expert/Connie_Lewis/123382